My Life is a Yellow Light – Week of 2-21-11

Several major events were converging on me all at one time, the biggest of which involved a career change only to find that the individual I was now working for had horrendous business ethics and now was trying to back out of over a large compensation due to me. Other questions about whether to relocate or not to relocate, the impact on my daughters life, whether to go through another career change, where would I go if I did the ethical thing and walk away from this unhealthy situation with no job…..decisions decisions.  All of these decisions were requiring a fairly fast response with little or no time to think about.  What to do?

I’m approaching my third intersection just outside of my daughters elementary school, bam, there it is again!  Another Yellow Light!  Three times in a row! I have to make a decision.  I stop, bang on my steering wheel.  I take a deep breath and I realize my life is so much like this Yellow Light.

Most of my decisions then and now seem to be these Yellow Light type decision where a choice has to be made.  Stop or get through the intersection.  That in-between stage.  Not the easy Yellow Lights where you see it in plenty of time to stop or maybe when you see the signal turn yellow as you are entering the intersection and can keep on going with no hesitation.  No, it is when you are approaching the intersection and you are far enough away when it changes and you have to decide.  No time for hesitation, make a decision and go with it.  To face it every once in a while, no big deal.  But when it seems like every time!??

This is where I was at that moment of my life.  Just make the decision and trust in God for the results.  One of my favorite and most DISLIKED passages in scripture is Proverbs 3:5-8.

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.  Lean NOT on YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

It is that “lean not on your own understanding” part that bothers me.  I want and inwardly feel the need to know the consequences of my decisions before I make them.  I want to know why certain things happen.  I want to know the why of things when I’m suffering so I can better understand what is going on and the why behind my trials.   Then I realize in some situations I may never know and I just have to trust.

I’m reminded that as a parent there are times when it is difficult to explain to a child the why’s of what is happening to them and why we don’t let them do certain things. All of those years arguing with my parents telling them they just didn’t understand me…now I realize that in most cases, they really did.

As an adult that is hard to swallow.  I just have to trust?  You can’t help me understand the why? If I understood the why it sure would make decisions easier.  It is hard to accept that I don’t need to know all of the answers of why this and why that.  I can’t see the bigger picture.  Trying to figure it all out can drive you crazy.

I’m learning it is much easier to accept that as I grow older.  Not so much growing wiser but just finding it easier to say OK, it is in Your hands, I won’t spend so much energy trying to understand the why behind everything and just trust He is still in control and will direct my path.

The quicker decisions though, those that you have to make on the spur of the moment.  These are the ones that make up the most of our lives.  Looking back on those quick decisions I have made in my life, I can see that when my heart was at peace with God, it was easier to trust those quick decisions.  Somehow being encouraged by His inward spirit.  When my heart was in a different place, choices more often than not, were questionable. And the consequences?  Well many of them ended up teaching me lessons for a lifetime.  Most of them not fun at all…..it was that darker side that motivates me to share this site for anyone that wants to join in or listen.

So when I thought to myself “my life is a yellow light” it started me to thinking our experiences are lessons and if we look deep enough the consequences of our choices can teach us things. I decided to look at events in my life and see what I learned (or more often didn’t learn but should have) from life’s experiences and choices.

So next time you come upon a yellow light….let it be a flag to check your trust levels in your life.  Remember trusting means “leaning not in your own understanding”….He will direct your path…..Because whether you like it or not, your life is a Yellow Light too.